Briefly, A Delicious Life (musings)

Happy Year of the Horse

After I lost access to my Bsky | X accounts, I decided to just go with it and take a break from socials.
I might try to get it back one of these days, but I don't feel the urge to do so just yet. Life has been better offline.
Please reach out directly if you have been waiting for updates on my comings and goings.

"There are no sex scenes, and all the food looks horrible."

"Have you seen it? I'm sure you have. How did you like it?"
Quite a few of recent conversations have started with that way. When I tell people that I hadn't and most likely wouldn't watch Christopher Nolan's adaptation of the Odyssey, I would get a, Seriously? I thought that would be right up your alley. Given my moniker and what inspired it, anyone could be forgiven for thinking that I'd be one of the first people to line up at the cinema. This would have been entirely true of my childhood self. Fairytales and myths were my bread and butter as soon as I could read, and sword and sandal movies followed as soon as I was allowed to watch tv. Those set in ancient Greece and Rome, drawn from the pages of the Bible or Arabian Nights, Quo Vadis, Ben Hur, Spartacus, I loved them all, the critically acclaimed as well as the cheap, cheesy and cheerful ones, like the one with the Titans that had Giuliano Gemma in it (my first movie crush), or The Thief of Baghdad with Christopher Lee as an evil sorcerer, The Golden Voyage of Sinbad (there must have been a dozen Sinbad movies, but this one was my favorite, Ray Harryhausen did some good work here). The thing is, I've never met a modern day version of these adventure stories set in ancient times that I enjoyed even half as much as the productions from the 50s and 60s. Notable exceptions: 300 based on Frank Miller's graphic novel and Spartacus: Blood and Sand. Sure, the special effects were childish, the dialogues stilted and there was too much pathos all around, but it made for sumptuous viewing. The women were gorgeous and wore those flimsy flowing curtains in the wind gowns that accentuated their shapely figures, and while there was no outright bonking, it was the golden era of the movie kiss where the dashing hero would clutch the girl to his chest Fabio style (in the middle of a battle usually) and really plant one on her while she sighed and melted into his arms, completely overcome by the moment, his ardour and the rising sound of strings. Which brings us to one of the criticisms laid at Nolan's door - Where is the sex, dude? I haven't read Homer in years, but I remember there was a lot of it in the text, willing and unwilling, it was what kept Odysseus away for all these many years, not rough seas or mythical creatures, but women who wanted to keep him to themselves.
There are no sex scenes, and all the food looks horrible, wrote Emily Wilson.
to read her full review: https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v48/n14/emily-wilson/an-uncomplicated-man
I love feasting scenes in books and movies, I love eroticism, tasteful nudity and a good bonking. Call me shallow, a glutton, a horny goat, so what? A movie without either makes for bloodless viewing, which is an odd thing to say about a story that starts and ends with so much bloodshed. I think I'll stay with the Kirk Douglas movie from the 50s until something better comes along. After reading No Friend To This House, I'd love to see what Natalie Haynes might have done with the material.

On Regulars

I came across the question on a forum recently on what makes a client a regular.
There are repeat clients and there are regulars (I call them something different, but more on that later).
Both repeat and regular clients are people you see more than once. A repeat client might, in fact, see you more often and regularly than a regular client. The difference is how you both feel about each other. We all know that some relationships feel more special than others. It's not so much about chemistry - you can have great chemistry with repeat clients - but security. A regular, above all else, is someone who makes you feel safe. And what is that safety? Safe from harm, plain and simple. There are some people, when you meet them, it feels like you have met your person, you know you are right for them and they are right for you, you can be at ease with each other, there is a bond of mutual trust that makes the encounter effortless. With a regular, it goes deeper than that, deeper than shared pleasure and laughter and confidences whispered in the dark. A regular is someone I can trust to always have my best interest at heart and to never place their desires over my wellbeing. Shouldn't that be always the case when dealing with another human being, you might think. We should all be so fortunate to live in a world where this goes unquestioned. The reality is, people are unpredictable, sometimes entitled, often careless, they can be pushy, aggressive, without meaning to be, but also intentionally deceitful, manipulative. You don't really know whom you can trust until that trust has been extended and earned over time. Until then, you take precautions and trust your instincts.
It is that baseline tension that you carry in a world where you have to always be guarded against having your boundaries pushed, that once you are with someone who is safe, you feel it like being relieved of a huge burden.
In short, a regular is someone I don’t have to worry about. Only I don't call them regulars. I call them a friend.

"He made me shiver most delightfully."

May 26 was World Dracula Day.
Nearly all children love a spooky tale, not the ones that give you nightmares and make you afraid of the dark, but the ones that tickle you just enough to send those delicious shivers down your back and make you snuggle deeper into the cushions thinking, oh this is going to be good! I remember that hum inside my brain when I knew that a good scare was just around the corner. My favorite treat was being allowed to stay up to watch a late night Hammer horror movie, one in particular, the 1960's Brides of Dracula, a rare vampire movie that didn't have Christopher Lee in it, but Peter Cushing was heroic as Van Helsing, still fascinates me. It had such strong female characters, the Baroness and the old nurse Greta terrified me more than the bloodsucking monster. The costumes, the musical score, the cast and cinematography all stand out in my memory as one of the best productions of its genre.

Christopher Lee was my favorite screen incarnation of the Count, but I remember him best as the voice of King Haggard in The Last Unicorn. What a towering legend he was, yet everyone who has ever met him, described him as a gracious and true gentleman. It is a testament to his humanity and widespread appeal that people of so many different ages and nationalities had on his death only good things to say about him.

Trauma

There was an article in the papers the other day about a woman who had been bullied in school and how that experience continued to shape her decisions in adulthood . She described how the trauma never left her on a visceral level, even though outwardly she has done much to rebuild her life, having a career, a circle of caring friends, being in a loving relationship. But whenever she hears a laughing voice in the crowd, her first gut reaction is always that it is aimed at her. This sounded very familiar to me, it mirrored my own experience. Reading this article got me thinking about how my own life choices can be traced to those high school days. Like her, I have had to rebuild myself as a person after being told that I was less than nothing. Like her, I have arrived at a point where I fully embrace what I see in the mirror. To me, I am enough, I have nothing to prove to myself or the world, I want and can just be, it is enough. Outwardly I have moved on and put the past behind me. But every laughter in the crowd invokes that split second of primal fear and shame before rationality kicks in and chases away those demonic shadows.

I'm pretty sure that I would not have wanted children under any circumstances, I'm just not the maternal type. But could it be that I'm not bonding with children because my experience of them is primarily as a threat full of cruelty?

I am an intensely private person, I feel most comfortable in the twilight, moving silently, avoiding detection. How much of that is simply the introvert part of personality and how much is due to the survival technique of prey surrounded by predators?

The truth is, I'll never know. I am only the person I am today because of all that came before. This is why, when asked if I wished all the bad stuff had never happened, I can't say that I do. Of course I wished I had been spared all that, but I have no idea what person I would then have become, but certainly I wouldn't be me right now, and I don't want to be anyone else even if it means I could have had a happier childhood. Life is a package deal.

People Always Ask For The Latest Selfie

So while I'm still away from social media, here is an update.

Hanami 2026

I'm a non religious person. My places of worship are nature and the liminal space in which we seek each other out, forsaking the outside world for a taste of the sweetness that some call intimacy, freedom to express your desires, or just a break :) Every year I make the pilgrimage to my favorite cherry tree in Japan, the oshimazakura, its pickled leaves are what gives sakura mochi their distinctive aroma. Whenever I buy a box of those treats, I would save one little cake to place next to my pillow so I would fall asleep with the fragrance wafting in the air like incense.

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New Gallery: The Lady in the Bath

I've always lived near water. River, brook, lake, dam, sea, mountain springs, hot springs. My favorite travel memories are a procession of hammams, jiljimbangs, thermal baths and onsen.

A great shower can turn a bad day around, a washlet redeem the most uninspired hotel room. A soak is all I need to restore body and soul.

My latest photo shoot is a hommage to my happy place.

On Virgins

Every once in a while I will get an email from someone who claims to be a virgin.

But I feel like life and sex and growing up has changed so much in the past decades that there needs to be a whole discussion about what constitutes a virgin and what constitutes sex in this new age. I think we can all agree, the Gen Z virgin is an entirely different species from the Gen X virgin.

If a virgin denotes a person who is inexperienced and innocent in sexual matters, can there even be such a thing for a generation that claims the internet as a birthright, where grade schoolers already know about blowjobs and choking, and anyone with an interest can access an encyclopaedic database on all sex related matters before they even reached puberty?

Are you still a virgin if you are physically untouched by another person, but have touched yourself a million times and with all types of devices?

Are you still a virgin if you have yet to perform the act with another person, but have seen it performed in every anatomically possible way on a screen?

Are you still a virgin if you have not had vaginal intercourse, but have been having regular oral or anal sex?

A Slut by any other name

Ever since 'sex worker' has been introduced to the mainstream public as an umbrella term for the people in my industry, I've had clients ask me if that is what I call myself and prefer to be referred to going forward.

With no disrespect to the sex work advocates who have fought and continue to fight for the rights of sex workers everywhere - I'm from a different generation. When I was growing up, all sex workers were commonly referred to as prostitutes. Those who worked the streets or in brothels were usually called hookers, if you worked for an agency and met your clients in fancy hotels, you were an escort or callgirl. If you happened to be the mistress of influential men in previous centuries, that would have made you a courtesan, or (my favorite) grande horizontale. Personally, I don't have an issue with any of these terms including the ones who are considered denigrating. The offense is not in the name but in the mind of the person who uses it with the intend to insult.

Refer to me as a tart, think of me as a slut as you beat off to the image of my wet pussy, call me a dirty whore as we both hang from the chandelier - as long as you do it as a gentleman client: honor my rate and respect my boundaries with minty breath and washed bum, we are good :)

Appreciation

Hard to imagine it has only been a few short months since I hung up my little shingle. The response to it has been overwhelmingly positive. People reached out just to say hi and that they liked what they saw, some offered constructive criticism, some shared their own story and why the words and imagery resonated with them, all of which I welcome and appreciate. Life is about connection and I have been fortunate enough to have met some terrific individuals. The pleasures shared, thoughts exchanged, the generosity of spirit at the base of this endeavor, opening up to a complete stranger about your deepest fantasies, turning off that brain and just feel, enjoy, indulge, exult. It's been a divine experience.

How mature is mature?

I've been contemplating advertising as a 'mature escort'. At 38 years of age, I am closer to 40 than 30. Escorting is perceived to be a young woman's game, so I feel it's worth pointing out, in case you came here expecting some- one in their early 20s. In advertising, 'mature' essentially means middle aged, an age that according to Wikipedia spans the range from age 45 to 65. Being Asian, most people guess me to be 10 years younger. So, my problem is, I started off worrying that people might find me older than what they expected, if I don't apply the label, and ended up worrying that, once I do, those who come explicitly in search of a middle aged escort might not find me mature enough for their taste. Thoughts?

Finish the sentence

The last time I cried ... over a line from My Beloved Monster by Caleb Carr.

The last time I pissed myself laughing ... over the pages long made-to-order porn video commission screenplay chapter in Tony Tulathimutte's Rejection.

If I won the lottery ... nothing much would change, I'm already living life the way I want to live.

Keep it simple, Susan

(by Lyndsay Rush)

When I hold the word success under a blacklight
what glows back at me is ease and freedom
Not Scrooge-McDuck-esque vaults of swimmable gold
Not clout or fame or for The Joneses to eat my dust
Just 9–10 hours of sleep
Work that feels like play
And terms and conditions that I write myself.

The key to a good life is ... don't covet other people's lives (and stay the fuck away from social media).

The greatest pleasures ... are the simplest ones: making do with what you have and can afford. Like a sandwich.

My pet peeve is ... any online submission form where I have to click myself back to the month and year of my birth. MANUALLY. IN MONTHS.

My favorite quote to live by is ... Never look back and think, I could have eaten this!

My favorite place to be on a Saturday night is ... home alone, tacos or pizza, ice cream with extra dollop cream or spray whip, something interesting on the telly (zapping channels like in the 90s, no streaming services at my crib).

My favorite thing to do on a Sunday arvo ... I try to get all my shopping done on Saturday, so Sunday is just for browsing the market, walking around the city taking pictures of things I haven't noticed before, maybe it's a nice day and everyone is out and about, I like that special atmosphere, that feeling of all is right in the world, no fighting, no stress, everyone just having a good time, enjoying food or just a coffee, getting high on all that goodwill in the air.

I try to live ... as slowly as possible.

A random fact about me: I adore eggs in all forms - soft boiled, hard boiled, fried, scrambled, in omelettes, cakes and quiches. But not in sauces, no hollandaise, bearnaise or carbonara for me!

Pay What You Can (not what you want) - A thought experiment

I once ate at a pay-what-you-can cafe. Since then, the idea got stuck in my head.

My best friend's dry response: "It's either going to be massively successful or absolutely disastrous."

I get where the disaster part comes in. People will think I'm a fraud and this is all a scam. People will try to take advantage. People will think I'm bonkers.

Pricing is the most crucial aspect in any business. Fees are set to customer perception, market positioning and competitiveness. Providers go high or low according to their branding and their desired target demographic.

My target customer is someone who I feel lucky to have come across, and vice versa.

I'm in the business of serendipity, of being in the right place at the right time for the right person. I'm sorry if it sounds cringy, I don't mean it in a sappy romance epic kind of way. I'm saying, we are two strangers who found each other across the internet and we happen to click and have a fabulous time not because we are perfect but because we just happen to be right for each other in that moment, in that mood. For that to happen, the stars have to be truly in alignment. Or as the Taylor Swift song goes, "It was rare, I was there....".

How do you set a pricing strategy for making delightful chance discoveries? You can't really.

All you can do is put yourself out there and be open to what comes your way. Life has a way of working out. The important lesson I learned is to not get in the way. I want to leave that room with a smile on my face as much as you do. I don't have any new year's resolutions for 2026, but a new year always carries a notion of a clean slate, of new beginnings. So why not cast away the doubts and do the radical thing: take a chance and see what happens?

It's not that big of a step. With my regulars, we hardly talk numbers anymore anyway. They take care of me, I take care of them. I prefer it that way. The gift is in the giving.

Honesty boxes have been around for ages and they work (for the most part) because people are fair-minded (for the most part). Or at least, they see the point of why doing the right thing is the right thing to do.

This industry has a way of stripping your notion of common decency due to the numbers of bad actors one runs into on both sides of the aisle. People get burned, and with each bad experience, a bit more trust and goodwill goes down the drain and we are all poorer for it. But walking around expecting the worst of people is no way to live. Sometimes, trust has to be advanced to make a go of it.

"In an age of irony, the deepest subversion is to be sincere." Let's break some eggs?

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